Despite knowing this surgery really is the best choice, it has some obvious down-sides. First, I will have to stay overnight at Lutheran, and my surgery will be there and not in the outpatient surgery center. This is so the docs can keep an eye on my calcium levels. If my parathyroid is damaged or even touched during surgery, causing hypocalcemia...a deficiency of calcium. Usually, it is short-term, but I may need to add calcium supplements to my daily vitamins. (I already take Magnesium and 5,000 units of Vit D3 each day). One upside to the overnight stay is that I may be able to get my drain tube out before I go home. Last time, I had to go home with this long tube hanging out of my neck with a bulb to collect all the excess fluids around the incision. (Gross, I know, but it is what it is.)
After doing a lot of research and consulting with oncologists, I have decided that when I go to see my endocrinologist 4 weeks post-op, I am going to tell him that I do not want the Iodine Radiation treatment until after I have an uptake scan. The Mayo Clinic pathology report showed my tumor was completely encapsulated, with no vascular invasion. What this means is that it does not appear to have spread. This is not a guarantee though. I am now and forever will be at a higher risk for any cancer, not just thyroid cancer.
However, since the oncologist at Goshen Cancer Center agreed that I'm in that "grey area," and we found my cancer "early" (despite 3 years of symptoms), I am a good candidate to NOT have the iodine radiation. The way I see it, I will always have a chance of the cancer coming back, no matter what I do. So, if I can get my endocrinologist to agree, I will have a scan first and then iodine radiation if any cancerous cells appear. If not, then I see no need to put myself through that now. But, the docs I have tend to want to use the "well it's just what we have always done to treat this" mentality. Too bad for them that I am a proactive, informed patient who knows that the American Thyroid Association does not recommend radiation iodine for tumors as small as mine, assuming I have the surgery.
As far as the fibromyalgia is concerned, I still hurt despite not working since July 2nd. I really miss all of my customers and the interaction, but I have a hard enough time trying to somewhat maintain the house. Some days I walk to the fridge for a drink and feel like my legs are going to give out because I am so weak. I try to rest in between household chores or major activities. No matter what I do, I hurt. Sometimes less, sometimes more...sometimes I'm not even sure anymore if I hurt or if it is all in my head. I cannot put into words how scary and frustrating it can be to have an illness that no one can "see." Invisible illness, love to hate them! :)
It is really hard to be a wife and mother when you hurt all the time. I try to keep up on the laundry and such, but I was reminded of how far behind I have gotten on these tasks when Hubby could not find a clean towel because they were all dirty. I try to enlist the kids' help, since there are 5 of them here full-time...they usually end up messing around and I clean up everyone's mess by myself and in pain. Being a wife and mother is a thankless job, though. Someday, perhaps, they will realize all I did for them and appreciate it. My guess is...around 25 or so. Lol!
I am leaning towards using some of my free/rest time to crochet some things to sell. Figure at least that way I feel like I'm contributing. Dish cloths, purses, afghans, and what-not...so if anyone wants anything in particular, please let me know. I can't read a pattern to save my life, and do it basically free-style, which I think makes them more meaningful and "hand-crafted." I enjoy it, though, and it is quite relaxing.
I apologize in advance if I start posting more over the next week...being that writing is my "release," I tend to write more when I'm more stressed or anxious. I know that God has a hand in all of this and He will not forsake me. So please pray for a good surgery, a quick recovery, and that this can be the last surgery I have to have for a while.
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